


Good Bye

by aprylynn



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 16:38:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3657567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprylynn/pseuds/aprylynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I... " Dammit, this was more difficult than he ever imagined. "I have to leave."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Bye

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a "sure to be wrong" speculation on how season 6 will end. If I get inspired, I may continue it with another chapter or two. But for now, it's complete.

Deeks paused in front of the door and took in a deep breath. This certainly hadn't been the worst day of his life, but it was up there. Way up there. Now all he wanted was to walk through this door and collapse. Maybe if he fell asleep for an hour or two or twelve, then everything that happened would have just been a horrible dream. He'd wake up next to his gorgeous girlfriend with her smile that seemed to cure everything. They'd move on with their lives, building their future together with no interruptions, no complications, no danger. They'd just be happy.

He lingered outside for a few more seconds, knowing this fantasy of his would be shattered as soon as he walked through this door. He sighed.  _You don't have much time._ _Stop wasting it._

"Hey, there." He said softly, when he found her sitting on her couch, scrolling through her phone.

"Hey." It definitely wasn't the warmest greeting ever. She didn't even look up at him, but at least she didn't lock him out. At least she was speaking to him.

He sat down next to her. "I... um... I'm sorry."

"You better be."

"There's a lot going on that I can't tell you about."

"Can't or won't?" Her eyes finally met his. Hurt, anger, and confusion were written all over her face. He hated himself for being the cause of it.

"Kens, please... don't do this..."

"Don't do what?" Her voice increased in volume. "Don't get mad because you disappeared today? Don't get mad that Detective Rivera won't back off? Don't get mad that there's something you're not telling me?"

He knew this would be hard, but this was already not going well. And he hasn't even gotten to the really difficult part yet.

"Kensi... I'm sorry. I wish things were different. I wish I could make all this go away. I wish I could always make the right choices. But there's something going on here and it's big. And I'm sorry for how I went about this and kept you in the dark... but I had to."

"What's going on?" She wasn't yelling anymore, which was good. But he still saw the anger and the hurt on her face.

"I... " Dammit, this was more difficult than he ever imagined. "I have to leave."

"Fine. You just got here but... fine."

"No, Kens... I mean, I have to leave Los Angeles."

"What?"

"I have to disappear for awhile. I've been with Lt. Bates all day planning this. Whatever IA has on me, it didn't start with just them. I have to find out how deep this goes so I can stop it."

"You're using the word 'I' a lot. What's all this 'I' talk? Did you forget you have a partner?"

"Kensi, they already know too much about you and about our relationship. I can't drag you any deeper into this..."

"That's bullshit and you know it! There's no way in hell you would accept that line from me if our positions were reversed."

"Kensi - "

"We're partners. You can't just come up with this whole escape plan and then disappear on me. You're not going anywhere unless I'm coming with you!" Angry tears were threatening to spill down her face. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't lose control of this situation. She couldn't lose him.

"Kensi, stop." He reached out and grabbed one of her flailing arms by the wrist. He gently caressed her skin and moved his hand to join with hers. "They already know about us. They know we're more than just partners. If we both disappear, whoever this is that's after me, they'll know and they'll find us and then we're as good as dead."

"There has to be another way." She whispered, trying (and failing) to keep her voice from cracking.

"There's not."

"Hetty can come up with something."

"She hasn't yet. And honestly, I don't know how much I can trust her anymore."

"And you know you can trust Bates?"

"I do. He's the only one at LAPD who has always been on my side. I trust him."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know."

"How will I know you're safe?"

"I don't know."

"Will there be anyone else helping you?"

"I don't know."

"Wow, you had all day to plan this and it seems like all you have is a whole lot of nothing."

"Kens... I don't have a lot of time before this all goes down. And I don't want to spend our last few hours together fighting."

"Could you please not call it our last few hours together?" She got up off the couch and started pacing back and forth.

"Okay. Sorry."

"This sucks."

"I know."

"I mean this really really sucks."

"I know."

"I mean... we're  _finally_  starting something good here. After all the shit we've been through over the years, we're finally in a good place. We're doing things that normal people do and we're happy. And now this."

Deeks stood up and stepped right in front of her pacing. He stilled her movements by placing his hands on her shoulders. She looked into his perfect blue eyes, eyes she could so easily get lost in, eyes that spoke volumes of his love for her. "I wouldn't be doing this if I thought I had any other choice."

"Deeks..."

"I know you trust me with a lot even though I don't always deserve it. But I'm asking you this because I need it now more than ever. Do you trust me?"

She wanted to say no. She was so pissed at him and this whole fucked up situation, she could barely think straight. But she knew the answer was yes. It would always be yes. She nodded, never breaking eye contact. "You need to come home as soon as possible."

"There's nothing I want more than that."

"And from now on... no more keeping stuff from me."

He let out a nervous chuckle. "This isn't new for us though. We've kept things from each other before. Both of us have."

"Yeah, but it has to stop. Things are different now. Back then we weren't sleeping together."

"If it makes you feel any better, back then I wished we were sleeping together."

Her face finally softened and a small smile broke across her face. He was such an idiot, but he never failed to make her smile. Despite everything, she knew she loved this man and that she would until the day she died. She brought her hands up to his face and savored the feeling of his scruff on her fingers.

"When do you have to leave?" She asked quietly.

"In a few hours. Bates wanted me to go right away, but I couldn't. This is hard enough. I couldn't do that to you. I just..." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I had to say good bye."

How she wanted to be able to freeze time, to stay in this moment forever, protected from the world in their own perfect bubble. She stared at his face, his eyes, his hair, the lines on his furrowed brow. She couldn't forget anything. She needed to be able to close her eyes and remember it all. Including the way he smelled and the sound of his voice and his touch.

She reached up, bringing her lips together with his. They were both still for a moment, breathing in deeply before drawing even closer to one another. She threaded her fingers through his soft curls as he ran his hands up and down her back. Their kiss deepened and she became more desperate for him, needing him to be entangled around her, moving above her, inside of her. Needing to touch him everywhere, with nothing separating them. She tried to push thoughts of good bye from her mind. For now, she just needed him.

He slipped his hands under her shirt and she shivered. She loved his hands. They were gentle and rough, soft and strong all at the same time. It was as if he could read her mind, knowing exactly where and how she wanted to be touched. Always the partners in sync, she raised her arms at the same time he grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She needed more, immediately working to unbutton his shirt.

Before she realized it, he had her walking backwards in the direction of her bedroom. By the time they made it through the door, his shirt and her bra were both gone. No matter how many times it happened, the feeling of his naked chest against hers always thrilled her. She moaned against his neck, then began covering him with slow open-mouth kisses. It wasn't enough to just memorize him with her eyes. She was determined to remember how every part of him felt against her lips.

Her jeans were already undone and half way down her legs. She stepped out of his embrace, sliding her hands into her panties, pushing them down and completely off along with her jeans. She stood in front of him and just let him take in her beauty. His eyes swept over her, burning with intensity. He didn't want to forget anything either. Not one detail.

"On the bed." He whispered, almost a growl.

There was no way she could resist that. She climbed on the bed and perched on her knees. Her heart pounded as he slowly approached, removing the rest of his clothes along the way. Finally, there he was, kneeling before her, naked and hard, caressing her everywhere. Tension was building to an almost unbearable level, but she willed herself to not rush. He pushed her back, kissing her as he hovered above her.

He smiled against her lips and chuckled.

"What?" She was breathless already.

"Nothing... it's just... you make these soft sighing noises when you're really turned on... and it's..."

"Are you seriously making fun of me in the middle of..."

He silenced her with a deep kiss. "I was gonna say... it's really...  _really_... hot." He was kissing her between words.

"Oh..." That was about all the response she could come up with. Her ability to string words together was seriously diminished as he trailed kissed along her jaw, down her neck and across her chest.

"Maybe I should record it and listen to it at night like some kind of sexy white noise machine."

She let out a laugh. Only Marty Deeks could give her incredibly heartbreaking news and then still manage to make her laugh during a moment of passion. "You are such an idiot."

He smiled against her skin. "So I've been told."

"No, seriously, you are..." Words failed her as he took her nipple into his mouth and gently bit down, swirling his tongue around it. All she could do was gasp for breath as he continued to ravage her.

He moved over to her other breast and paid it equal attention before continuing to move lower. She thought her heart would explode when he dipped his tongue into her belly button. He was moving so slow and she was groaning impatiently. She practically whimpered when he skipped down to nibble on her inner thigh. She gripped the comforter underneath her with such force, she thought she might tear it. She held her breath as he finally kissed a trail up to her center and made contact with her clit. Back arched, she cried out as he held onto her hips, pinning her in place. It didn't take long at all with that skilled mouth of his to bring her up to the peak and then push her over the edge as she loudly moaned his name.

She tried to catch her breath, but she couldn't. Her orgasm was subsiding, but he wasn't stopping. He kept his face buried, not letting up at all, using his tongue and his lips and his teeth. It was all too intense. She wanted to push him away, make him fuck her already, but she couldn't. She couldn't move and then realized she never wanted to move again. Tension was building again and she came even louder than before.

His tongue slowed its movements as he guided her down for the second time. She draped her arm over her face, focusing all her attention on taking in steady breaths. It certainly didn't help when she felt him move up to drop soft kisses on her neck. How does he do that to her? After two powerful orgasms in a row, she wanted him again, needed him again. Her hunger for him was nowhere near satisfied. This time he didn't make her wait. As she wrapped her legs around him, he slowly guided himself into her. She tightened her muscles as he thrust, over and over. It was exhilarating and delicious and overwhelming and she never wanted it to end. His whole body tensed as he drove into her one last time, growling out  _Kensi_  as he came.

* * *

Kensi stirred awake when she heard movement in her room. She reached over and the other side of the bed was empty. It was time. She sat up, not bothering to cover herself with the sheet. "You weren't trying to escape without saying good bye, were you?" She tried to sound like she was joking, but her heart was breaking in pieces.

"I wouldn't dream of it. I was just getting ready before I woke you." He sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her. She rested her hands on his chest, using all her self-control to not undo his buttons again.

"So... um... where's Monty right now?"

"I already brought him to the kennel."

"Okay."

"You're thinking of jailbreaking him, aren't you?"

She smiled. "Maybe. We can be together and have all kinds of fun without you." Her voice cracked and she blinked rapidly.

"I know he'd like that."

"Deeks... Marty... I... " Words were failing her and so was her grip on her emotions.

He stopped her with a gentle kiss, knowing exactly what she was going to say. "I know, Kens. Me too."

She took in a deep breath. "You have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"You have to promise me... if you need help, if you're in over your head and you don't think you'll make it... I don't care what protocol it might break, I don't care if it'll ruin this whole operation. If you need help, you call me."

He nodded and then rested his forehead against hers. "Okay."

"Promise me." She whispered as a single tear fell on her cheek.

"I promise. You know I can't say no to you when you're naked."

She laughed, feeling warmth and hope in the midst of her turmoil. "Good. I'll hold you to that."

"I've never wanted so badly to stay, but I can't. I have to go."

She nodded. "Come home."

"I will."

He gave her one last lingering kiss on her lips and then on her forehead... and then he was gone. She waited for her front door to close before completely losing the last bit of control she had left. She wept bitterly, already longing for his return. She fell onto her pillow and breathed in his scent that was left behind. She wondered how long before that was gone too.

"Come home, Deeks." She whispered. "Come home soon."


End file.
